WHOA!!!

I had no intentions of a blog break.  July 12th?  I was so happy to have recorded our camping trip on the way home and then I just stopped.  Whoops.  Clearly we've been busy the last 6 weeks!

I kept the kids with me all summer and we had a great time.  This was a fun morning after my Bar Method class.  The kids loved the different cars.

Mid July we headed to Nebraska for a weekend at John and Ella's lake house.  The kids have improved so much with swimming lessons and we all had a blast.

After the lake we drove to Kansas City. We were able to stay for a whole week and were able to see a lot of family and friends.  We went to Diana Rose, a Royals game and Oceans of Fun!

After we left KC we had one more stop in Columbia for Mikes graduation.  He has worked so hard and my mom is so proud of him.

Vacation was great but it was back to reality as soon as we got home.  Charley had her tonsils out and the next week was rough!

Luckily she was pretty much healed she. Nana arrived to watch the kids.  We were able to sneak away to Lake Tahoe for a wedding.

Now that we're back to school things are pretty normal again.  We're rushing all over do this activity and that.  Bryan is still keeping busy with obstacle races.

Jackson has been in Kindergarten for two weeks and loves it!  He loves doing homework...for now.

It's been a great 6 weeks but we're happy to be back in a routine!

Camping with the Kids

I grew up camping and I knew I wanted my kids to love it as well.  It's good for them to get dirty, experience camp fires, and become one with the bugs.  This summer I finally felt like the kids were old enough so we tried out Yogi Bear's Jessystone campground. It was 30 minutes away and oh so hokey but it was a perfect first experience.  Saturday morning we loaded everything up and we were at our campsite by 10:30.

I was so nervous our kids would be a disruption to others so I was thrilled when our camping neighbors had a 4 year old and 1 year old. Not only that, the dad had run multiple Spartan races and marathons and the mom was a teacher and sign language interpreter. What?!?!  How cool is that! They live in Naperville so we exchanged info for an upcoming play date.

This was our sins camp set up.  The kids were much more excited about setting it up than taking it down.

We were checking the radar since theee was a threat of severe storms.  After camp was set up, we headed off to the pool!

Lunch was at our site and was just sandwiches, chips, and strawberries.  Then I got too hopeful and thought we'd all try to lie down and rest. 

Well...only one person napped and it was daddy!!  While he napped I took the kids to the general store for a treat. They picked ice cream, a bomb pop, and popcorn for daddy.  Jackson was excited about his bomb pop and explained the colors to me.  Red was cherry, white was EGG, and blue was blueberry. 😀 he said he liked the egg flavor best.

After we woke daddy we played frisbee and bubbles at our site for a bit with our neighbors.

And Claire rubbed her face in the mud every time she got a chance.

The great thing about Jellystone is there was always an activity we could do.  While the staff left a lot to be desired in the area of musical performance, the kids enjoyed warchng the Dancing Through the Decades show.

After the show was mini golf and the play ground.

We ended the day back at our site for toasted hot dogs, pasta salad, and s'mores!  And more bug spray and dirt.

As always, Charley got her way and was carried a lot because "her legs hurted."  She doesn't make a very good passenger.

There was only one time that Jackson got a little weepy about not sleeping at home but after we convinced him we would be in the tent too, he was fine.  The kids did really well and awoke with the birds at 6am.

We had cold cereal and frosted doughnuts for breakfast before packing up and heading home.  Now, just 23 hours later, we are all clean, including g Claire, with lots of fun stories to share!

A City Escape

We had a blast in the city yesterday!  Our morning started with a 7am photo shoot with Mimi at the beach in Evanston.  Our friend Julie is an awesome photographer and she found a great location.

After the photos, Julie rushed of to shoot a wedding and we stayed to play a bit.

Just like always, Daddy played a lot too.

Before heading to breakfast we found a fun park and Jackson was thrilled to see a sign language alphabet chart.

Bryan was excited to try the Walker Bros. Pancake House that is referenced in Mean Girls. The food was delicious!

After breakfast we took a scenic drive down Lake Shore to try out Maggie Daley park. What a cool place!  It's a huge industrial style park with a city backdrop.

Jackson was so brave and went down this big slide!

After we worked up a sweat we took Mimi to the Bean where Charley through a huge fit because, you know, she's three  now and such fits are required to maintain your THREEnager status.

The highlight of the day was Crown Fountain.  The kids loved running around in the water.

We headed home and heard snoring from both car seats within just a few minutes.

After a stop for groceries and a fancy Costco lunch, we pulled in to the garage at 3pm, NINE hours after we left!

It was an exciting and exhausting day!

Summer Days

I've been home with the kids for three weeks.  It's so much better and harder than I was expecting. Because of their summer birthdays and our necessary switch to a new daycare I didn't want to start them until after their birthdays.  This will save us a room transition.  But holy moly, these kids need more than I can provide.  

Luckily we have swimming lessons, My Gym, swimming, and play dates break up the days but summer life is a weird mix of so much free time but no time to get stuff done.  I went back to work because I struggle with that feeling.  

Knowing that struggle I was a little hesitant about keeping the kids home this summer.  But, I think their ages make it more enjoyable now.  We can do stuff.  And they can talk to me.  The good times are pretty great!

The one thing I know after three weeks is that I'm done trying "activities that will keep your kid entertained for an hour."  These activities are all over the Internet and every one has taken me longer to prepared than it kept their attention.  

My strategy going forward? 

Here kids.  Meet your back yard.  Entertain yourselves.

Can I Be Honest?

I've been thinking about adoption a lot lately.  And I'm completely terrified.  Bryan and I have felt called to adopt since before we had Jackson and Charley. Before kids it just seemed so easy.  We'd have one or two biological kids and then adopt.  I was going to be a patient and kind mother who was full of learning activities, had well behaved children, and never lost her temper.

Well, my reality is much different.  Parenting my babies is hard. I have no idea what I'm doing so I lose my patience and freak out. What if I mess them up?  What if I let this behavior go and they turn into uncontrollable teens? What if I try really hard and they end up struggling anyway?  

I'm an honest complainer.  I do it because it makes me feel better to put everything out there but also because I'm desperately hoping someone responds that they feel the same way.  That we're in the same boat that often feels like less of the cruise ship I expected parenthood to be and more of the Titanic that it feels like on the hard days.  I'm scared people will wonder why we would seek out another child if parenting the two we already have is enough to make me crazy.  As much as don't like this to be true, I really do care what others think of me. I am a pleaser.  I want to do a good job.

I'm  reading more and more of other journeys and it looks so, so hard.  But then I'll see a story about a wonderful adoption story.  I have so many questions for myself. I have two fairly healthy kids.  We aren't adopting just to have another kid. I can do that on my own. We want to adopt to provide that home for a child who needs it.  But maybe I'm not the best person for the job.  There are definitely moms who are more patient and caring and loving.  There are couples who want so badly to adopt. Maybe we should just get out of the way for them. They want it so badly. But so do I.  I'm just terrified.

I truly believe that God has a plan for us. Sometimes I think all of my fears are signs to just let the idea go.  But then other times I have an overwhelming feeling that our family isn't complete. That there is a child out there who will call me Mommy.  We sing a song at church that always moves me.

You make me brave.

You make me brave. 

You call me out from the shore into the waves.

I know that if this is His plan I will be given the grace and patience to be in charge of another human.

I went back to teaching when I did to give me time to gain tenure so I could take a year off for an adoption.  That's still two years away.  Next year is our learning year. We plan to go to classes to learn about the options and hopefully get more clarity on this whole thing. The following year is the application and paperwork year. Then the adoption year.

I think.

Again, it feels better to get it all out there. You can pray for clarity along with us.

Home Improvement!

This spring has been filled with home improvement projects.  My dad was here over Spring Break and built the board and batten entryway that I am completely in love with.  The hooks will be great for our parties and the kids can hang back packs there when school starts! We took a small break from the construction to pack some food at Feed My Starving Children with our small group.

Our poor little Charley saw the caulk tube and thought it was the world's largest nasal aspirator.  Such a lady she is.

The other big project was after Spring Break.  We were in desperate ned of some yard work. We finally bit the bullet and had it done.  New beds, retaining walls, trees removed, lilacs relocated, and mulch.  It was a big job but it looks much better.  We get lots of compliments from the neighbors.

I am using Project Life to document our days.  These collages are made in the app on my phone.  I am hoping to kill two birds with one stone and just blog about the collages.  I'm struggling with double documentation so this seems like a better idea.  It's such a great way to preserve memories that seem harder to keep track of when you're always adding more. 😀

Kalahari

Sunday and Monday of Spring Break were spent at the Dells.  Our hotel room was a double suite that we shared with my parents.  The kids were giddy and ready for the fun.

We got our suits on as soon as we got there and swam for 3 hours.  There were slides, a wave pool, lazy river, and a kid area that had its own lazy river.

After 3 hours the kids had hit a wall and were hungry.  We decided our best option was eating at the buffet and it was so, so good!  We did a little arcade play after Nana begged Papa for tokens and then hit the bed early.  And sharing a hotel room with young kids is not pleasant.  Charley snores like an old man and sleeps best when she is parallel to the headboard.  Great.

Bryan had a conference call first thing that morning but then we headed back to the pool.  Jackson was so brave and rode a big tube slide with us but then politely declined all future offers.  He wasn't a fan.  After another full couple hours of swimming we got lunch and headed home.

We were only at Kalahari for about 28 hours but we had a blast and Spring Break was just one day in!  So exciting!